A smile to make you happy
by CLAMP-yuuko
Summary: AshuraxFay. Later on KuroxFay. Takes place before Fay leaves Seresu. Why does Fay leave Ashuraou when he has strong feelings for his king? Why did Fay seal Ashuraou? Read and find out!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own.**

**Pairing: AshuraxFay**

**Spoilers: None, at least not yet.**

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A smile to make you happy

_I like you; you are someone precious to me. I want you to be happy. I want you to smile. But still you are not for me the same as I am for you…_

Soft snow petals made their way down from the sky landing on Fay's nose. He looked upwards feeling the petals numb his face, kissing him, leaving their mark as little crystal tears on his warm face.

'Am I selfish? Am I selfish if I long for happiness for myself? Am I selfish if I wish for someone special for me?'

Fay seated himself in the snow; his coat loosely wrapped around himself. His gaze followed a snow petal fall, alone, finding its way towards the ground, joining the rest to form a sea of pure white. 'Smile for me Fay, smile for me. Smile and make me happy.' Ashura always said things like that. 'Make me happy Fay. Make me happy.' Always…

"Fay!" He heard a voice call from behind. He turned around to see his king walking towards him his black hair billowing in the slight breeze. Fay smiled weakly.

"Ashura-ou…" Fay watched him come closer, the longing in his chest suppressing his feelings for the man standing in front of him. Ashura seated himself beside Fay. "You shouldn't sit in the snow Ashura-ou, you might get sick." Fay looked worried at Ashura.

"So might you." Ashura's kind eyes focused on Fay. "You're feeling sad again, aren't you?"

"No," Fay assured, smiling.

"You're a master at lies, Fay. Your face can smile and your heart cry at the same time. A truly remarkable skill." Ashura tilted Fay's head upwards looking deep inside his deep blue eyes. "I love you, I truly do."

"I love you too." Fay felt Ashura's gaze on him; deep within his soul.

"Again, you lie." Ashura released Fay's head from his tender grip. "Again you lie to make me happy," Ashura whispered with a smile, "and I thank you for that." The snow kept falling, bathing both of them in white. Fay was getting cold but not due to the icy petals falling from the sky.

"Why does that make you happy Ashura-ou?" Fay asked looked down avoiding the king's searching gaze.

"Fay, if you had to choose: if you had to choose between giving happiness to another person or being happy yourself, what would you do?"

"I…" Fay kept his gaze aimed at the ground.

"For me… There is nothing more important than my own happiness. Of course I want everyone else to be happy too but I have come to the conclusion that my happiness will always be the most important thing to me." Ashura looked at Fay. "And I will do everything in my power to attain that happiness." Snow petals kept falling, covering both in a seemingly endless carpet of white; Ashura's hand resting upon Fay's cold one. "Let's go inside, if you stay here longer you'll get sick," Ashura's smile was warm.

"For you Ashura-ou, I will do anything," Fay rested his head on Ashura's lap. "I will do anything for your happiness."

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**A/N: My first AshuraxFay fic! Reviews will be very much appreciated:D I think this fic will have a total of three chapitres, but it depends on the reviews;)**


	2. Chapter 2

A wish

_I want someone to look at me and see me smile. To know my smile as a sign of my happiness. A person who becomes happy because I am happy. A person who love my happiness instead of his own._

Make more flowers bloom Ashura-ou! They are so pretty!" A little boy asked smiling. He had fluffy blond hair and deep blue eyes. Ashura stroke the boy's head gently.

"I am glad you like them Fay," Ashura touched three more flowers with his hand and they bloomed an instant later. "It makes me very happy to see you smile."

"I want to do that too!" Fay said jumping into Ashura's lap.

"Then you must study!" Ashura smiled wrapping his hands around Fay.

"I want to make flowers for Ashura, so I will study hard!" Fay closed his eyes and enjoyed Ashura's hands holding him closely. 'Thank you Ashura. Thank you for everything…'

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The bed felt cold. Fay moved slightly under Ashura's arm. He didn't wake up. Fay moved some more until he finally was free from Ashura's grip. He moved to the other side of the bed feeling the cold silk against his bare skin shift as he moved.

How long had he had these thoughts? These wishes? This longing to escape? He didn't know anymore although he was sure of one thing; it was a long time. Fay looked at his king; his black hair strewn across the bed. His eyes started welling up with tears. He tried to stop them but couldn't. His feelings was far to strong to hold back anymore.

Fay gritted his teeth as crystal tears evaporated from his eyes. 'I am so thankful for you Ashura-ou; you have been so kind to me.' Fay tried to brush away the tears but more kept coming like there was no end to his pain.

"I should love you Ashura-ou. I should love you." Fay whispered through gritted teeth remembering those days long ago. All the precious memories they shared together. All the happy moments under the night sky. 'I should love you Ashura-ou. I truly should.'

"To see you cry hurts me Fay," a voice said making Fay press his eyes together to get rid of the water blurring his vision. When he opened them again he looked at Ashura-ou who had moved closer to him; his hand upon Fay's bare shoulder.

"Then I won't cry," Fay brushed away his tears with the back of his hand avoiding his king's gaze.

"That's better. You make me so happy Fay. Thank you," Ashura wrapped his hands around Fay burying his lips in his blond hair. "You make me so happy," he whispered slowly. Tears started to well up again in Fay's eyes. He kept them back. 'I will do anything for you Ashura-ou. I will do anything for you my king.'

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It had been so long since they last had spoken. Fay had told Ashura that he needed some time on his own. Ashura had looked worried at him. Fay had told him not to worry. Fay was lying on a bed his eyes staring empty at the ceiling. He had been like this for days. Doing nothing but stare, trying to suppress the thoughts in his mind. His thoughts about Ashura, about his life, but most importantly about his wish. He was glad Ashura had left him alone. To escape his feelings was like removing a heavy burden from his tired shoulders, a burden he wasn't sure if he could carry anymore. However, he knew it couldn't last forever. So the day Ashura opened the door to the guest room it didn't come as a surprise, nevertheless Fay kept staring at the ceiling, holding on to the feeling of freedom.

"I know what you wish for. I know your heart's desires. If you leave me. If you go seeking happiness of your own, I will surely be sad," Ashura's voice was cold and hard but his eyes was still shining with warmth as they always did when he spoke to Fay.

Ashura-ou…," Fay broke his gaze with the ceiling and looked at his king. His heart cringed in pain when their eyes met. He smiled weakly.

"You are the only person that can make me happy. You are my one and only. My most precious person. And I will do everything to make sure my most important person stays by my side," Ashura walked over to the bed and leaned over Fay. His breath touched the face of the wizard. Fay's eyes met the gaze of his king. Ashura leaned in closer. "I love you Fay. I truly do," Ashura kissed Fay long. Fay's soft lips pressed against his. His own happiness the most important of all.

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**A/N: Next chapitre: Goodbye. Time for departure. Fay decides to seek his own happiness. What will the last words between Ashura-ou and him be before he go? I also want to thank riachan for betaing all my fics! Thank you very much for all your hard work!**


	3. Chapter 3

Goodbye

_If you love me, let go of me. If I am special to you let me be free. If you want for me to smile, say goodbye. Untie these chains and let me fly to some distant place. A place far away from you and your love…_

So they day had come. The day that would change all things. Fay stood outside the main room of the castle, his hands trembling. He closed his eyes and rested his mind for a moment. He touched the cold doorknob, holding his breath he twisted it around; with uncertain steps, he entered the room.

"Oh, its you Fay," Ashura smiled warmly. He stood in the middle of the room holding some papers. "I was wondering if you wanted to take a walk with me later, after I finish signing some papers."

"Ashura-ou…," it was then Ashura noticed how pale Fay looked. His skin was white and his deep blue eyes worried.

"Fay…?" Ashura started walking over to Fay worried.

"Stop…," Fay's voice was trembling; he knitted his fist to stop them from shaking.

"What is it Fay?" Ashura stopped looking at his loved one. It hurt him to see him like this. So scared and sad.

"I… I will leave now," Fay looked down and fought the tears who threatened to surface.

"Oh," Ashura's eyes went from worried to sad in an instant. He looked at Fay, he looked for his eyes but they where hidden behind blond locks. Three guards had stood guard along the walls. They decided it was time and stepped forth holding their spears up high as they were supposed to do when the king was threatened.

"Don't hurt him!" Ashura yelled looking furious as the guards approaching Fay.

"We have orders to protect you," the guards said without looking at their king. "Those orders stand no matter what happens."

"Please don't hurt him!" Ashura's voice filled with despair.

"Why not Ashura-ou?" Fay asked his eyes lowered.

"Because if they hurt you I would be sad."

"What about me? Is it my pain that causes your sadness?" Fay didn't look up although he felt the kings gaze on him. Ashura didn't answer, just kept his eyes on Fay. Trying to find his eyes behind the blond locks. "Because if it was you would have let me go…," Fay looked up. "A long time ago."

"I guess."

"Please go away," Fay said his voice filled with sadness looking at the approaching guards. "Please go away so I won't need to hurt you." The guards merely glared at him. They walked towards Fay knowing very well it would be the last thing they would ever do. Fay lifted his staff and with swift movements, he drew signs in the air. Moments later the guards where thrown backwards; they where dead.

"Fay…," Ashura-ou looked at the dead guards his eyes filled with horror as if Fay's actions were merely a thought, a dream, a nightmare. "I won't let you go Fay." Ashura looked at Fay with caring eyes. "I can't." Fay watched Ashura's eyes; they were filled with sadness, such painful sadness. Ashura stood there helplessly, merely looking, waiting. Once more Fay lifted his staff his hands trembling. Ashura didn't react, just looked, watching as Fay prepared his attack.

"Won't you fight," Fay asked his voice dripping with emotions.

"It would be useless. Your powers is far stronger than mine."

"Please…," Fay begged his lips hardly moving.

"I know you want for me to fight. I know this hurts you. However, you hurt me the most Fay. It is so painful for me to see you like this. I thought I was enough for you to stay," Ashura's eyes met Fay's, their gaze locked, both hearts cringing with a seemingly endless pain.

"Goodbye," Fay said his hands clenching around his staff.

"Not goodbye. It will never be goodbye Fay. I will always find you. I will do everything to attain my happiness," Ashura's eyes were shining in the faint light that streamed through the tall windows; they were like seas, seas of dark water, a bottomless ocean of grief. Fay wrote the signs in the air once more. He watched Ashura standing there. So lost and alone, abandoned by the only person that mattered in the world for him. The signs in the air flew towards Ashura and hit him. The king stumbled backwards, tripped and lost balance. He fell towards the floor without a sound. Fay walked closer. When he came to stand right over his king, Fay witnessed Ashura's last moment of consciousness, his last breath before an endless sleep. His gaze was like daggers hitting him in the chest. Fay cringed in pain. Ashura's eyes closed, the sea of darkness formed rivers that ran down his pale face, two paths forming, paths of despair and endless dreams.

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"Make the stars brighter Ashura! Make the stars brighter!" the little blond boy said smiling.

"I can't do that Fay," Ashura answered smiling warmly.

"Why not?" Fay asked and seated himself by Ashura's side under the night sky.

"Why do you want the stars to shine brighter Fay?"

"Because I want them to shine brighter for Ashura!" Fay looked at the stars; their reflection shining in his deep blue eyes.

"I don't need the stars to shine brighter for me," Ashura placed his hands on Fay's shoulders his eyes filled with warmth.

"Why?" Fay asked looking at Ashura.

"Because I have you to shine for me," Ashura smiled. He leaned towards Fay and hugged him, feeling his heart beat with joy at the mere thought of being with him.

"Does that make you happy Ashura?" Fay closed his eyes; resting his head on Ashura's shoulder.

"Yes."

"Then I will shine all I can. I will shine all I can just for you Ashura!"

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**A/N: I finally wrote this chapitre! I have lots of notes for this chapitre so it wasn't hard to write it over to the computer but I still have been so late with this update because I kept coming up with ideas for this fic so I kept writing notes instead. I haven't decided on the name of the next chapitre yet, but there will be some more flashbacks. One more with little Fay and two before Fay sealed Ashura.**


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